She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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