I'm really into asian looking animals
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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