i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
