I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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