My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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