Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
