I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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