God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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