I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
