dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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