I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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