yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
