i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
