if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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