So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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