you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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