At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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