You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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