True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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