If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Let's get the cat blown out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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