I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
