I cannot find my penis.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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