I'm gonna have a badass scar
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
