We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
