So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
