I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
