Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
