I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize