3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
