I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
