Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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