I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
