In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
