If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
