Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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