I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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