i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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