My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
