Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize