i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
