So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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