um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
