i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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