I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
