I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT