yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway