i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
