At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
