You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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