It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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