six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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