So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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