Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
there is glitter all over my balls
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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