I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
