You're my little dorito
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Im part way to drunk.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
