Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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