im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
