i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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