At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
