im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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